I know I had said on the podcast that Lauren and I would be continuing the podcast when I started back to school, but that proved more challenging than I anticipated. I’m sorry about that. I miss doing the podcast, I just have no time to find guests, come up with questions, do the interview, and then edit the recordings to get them ready to post. On top of that, I have deleted my social media accounts because I completely disagree with FaceBook selling our personal information. I always hated FB, so apart from losing contact with most of my Heathen friends, it has been a positive move for me.
Over the past year and a half I’ve been doing my coursework for my PhD in Public History. I’m nearly done with that part, but then I have a year-long residency, then another year to write my dissertation. I’ve been doing really well in school and have been working on projects that are both meaningful and that I have loved working on.
During the time that I’ve been busy with school it seems our world has gone crazy. The last two-part podcast episode we posted, Our Racist Problem, Parts One and Two, were recorded immediately after the white nationalist rally and murder in Charlottesville, Virginia. I had wanted to follow up on that, but it has just not been feasible.
So all of this being said, I have felt really detached from the Heathen community since my last podcast episode. Part of it is that I have no community where I live. Part of it is my singular focus on my studies. But there’s also a part of me that has questioned whether I should still call myself Heathen in this screwed up world where we have an imbecilic president who spouts white supremacist propaganda and racist nut jobs walk into churches, synagogues, and mosques and kill multiple people for no reason. My heart is broken for the folks who have died, their families, and the survivors of each of these atrocious crimes.
The problem is, I don’t have another name for the system of beliefs I have. I’m not clinging to the name just because I’ve been Heathen for 21 years, but apart from calling myself Sheathen, I don’t know what to call what I do. I do think it would be easier if I had a Heathen community to rely on, one that I could meet up with once in a while at least. I also don’t think I’d be questioning my religion if it weren’t that the god damned Nazis and their ilk only seem to become more emboldened every day.
Never fear, I’m not throwing in the towel. I am still a strong supporter of the amazing Heathen women that I know, the Troth, Heathens Against Hate, the Open Halls Project, and multiple Heathen kindreds and organizations who work to make the world a better place. I still give frequent offerings to my ancestors, the wights, and the Elder Kin. I just needed to be honest and put these feelings out there. I sincerely doubt that I’m the only one with these thoughts.